Top Ten Arguments I Have With My Boyfriend9:00 AM
After two years, some favorite arguments get recycled. A lot.
1. How to pronounce forte.
Him: It's fort.
Me: It's for-tay.
Him: Don't you know how to speak Latin?
2. How to pronounce knave.
Him: It's ka-nave.
Me: Okay, no.
Him: But it's from German, and Germans pronounce their Ks.
Me: It's ENGLISH, and in ENGLISH you don't pronounce the K.
3. Dyeing my hair.
Me: I'm thinking blonde? Is that okay?
Him: Sure, if you never want me to talk to you again.
Me: What is wrong with blonde hair?
Him: You're right. It'll bring out who you are on the inside.
Me: Well, what color would you want me to dye my hair?
4. My future.
Him: Blizzard has an HR position open.
Him: It's the largest video game company.
Me: Not interested.
Him: But you can talk to people and organize and host parties -- all the things you love to do.
Me: I don't like video games.
Him: They have a random museum in the middle of their headquarters.
Me: Wait, how do I apply?
5. What to watch on movie night.
Him: My turn to pick!
Me: At your suggestion, we watched The Corpse Bride, 300, 1/4 of Stripes, and Jesus Christ Superstar* all in one weekend. No way are you picking the movie.
*FYI: these are the world's worst movies.
6. What to sing at my senior recital.
Him: I think you should sing "Once Upon a December."
Me: What's that?
Him: You haven't seen Anastasia?
Me: Of course not.
Him: You're so homeschooled.
Me: So do you have any other suggestions?
Him: "Once Upon a December."
Him: You should wear a corset.
Me: What? Why?
Him: I don't know. You slouch.
Him: Why are you stopping?
Me: I'm dying.
Him: You've got to keep moving.
Me: I am moving. Slowly.
Him: No, you have to keep up the jogging motion, or you'll lose momentum.
Me: Why am I dating you again?
9. Engagement Rings
Me: Erich! Look at this gorgeous ring. Wink, wink.
Him: That's so ugly.
Me: What's wrong with it? It's beautiful.
Him: It's a diamond.
Him: This jewelry company back in the 19th century marketed diamond rings specifically as engagement rings just to drive up sales. There's nothing special about them. They're a marketing scam. But look at this claddagh ring.
Me: If you propose to me with a claddagh ring, I will say no.
Me: I love you.
Him: I love you more.
Me: I love you most.
(He falls for it every time.)
What do you and your loved ones "argue" about?