Bailey's Beauty Secrets

9:00 AM

Want to be the fairest of them all? Look no further—I’m sharing all of my beauty secrets.

Your hair gets messed up as soon as you walk outside anyway, so don’t bother brushing, detangling, or up-doing in the morning. Especially if you can sleep in an extra five minutes.

Pores are not immodest. Why cover them up?

No matter how much time you spend looking good, if you’re sleepy, people will think you look terrible. Get your beauty sleep.

Wear outrageous colors of lipstick just to spite the more fashionable girls who say less is more.

It’s okay. I have acne too. And so does everyone else.

Putting mascara on your lower lashes is not worth scrubbing off under-eye black streaks, dots, and smudges for ten minutes.

Chips of month-old nail polish on your big toes are not signs of laziness. They’re abstract art.

Smile, think, and cry with people so hard that you get wrinkles all over your face.

Why bother with expensive bracelets? Accessorize with hair bands. I recommend yellow ones that don’t go with your outfit.

The secret to an affordable great wardrobe is rooming with a girl who owns a great wardrobe.

Not everyone will think you’re the most gorgeous girl ever. Don’t try to be.

Rock frizzy hair like it’s the new style—because I guarantee you every other woman has big hair during this humid weather too.

Don’t wear make-up when you’re emotional. Just don’t. (Smearing.)

Wear long necklaces to class. They’re fun to twirl with fifty-five minutes of class left.

We’re all going to get old and wrinkled someday. Spend your wrinkle-free days fighting something less inevitable.

Spill it. I want your beauty tips!

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16 impressions

  1. My beauty tips:
    -brush your hair and maybe hairspray bangs to keep them out of eyes
    -don't wear makeup, it takes too long and if people like you only if you have makeup on, they aren't worth your time
    -keep a pair of small gold hoops in your ears so you don't have to change your earrings, like ever

    1. Ooo, I'm too scared to get my ears pierced! What convinced you?

    2. I don't remember... it was a while ago. But I got my nose pierced last month and honestly it doesn't hurt much. With it, I just thought nose pins are pretty so I really wanted one.

    3. I just can't decide if I want permanent holes in my earlobes!!

      I really like the simple nose pins -- not for me, because I couldn't pull off that vibe, but on certain people they looks super great. Good for you. :)

    4. I was undecided about the permanent holes too!! It took me about 5 years to work up to it, but I did finally get my ears pierced last fall. The holes have not been bothersome (mostly because earrings are so pretty that I never go without), but I DID have a little issue where my ears failed to heal for MONTHS and there is still a little...weeping...going on.
      I got them done at the local, well-recommended tattoo & piercing parlor because everyone said DON'T go to Claire's because the needle-gun can damage the ears. Well, local tattoo parlor said just soak em in hot salt water twice a day, which I failed to do regularly. They were sad and infected for months; it really was a trial. I am not sure if I would have had better luck with Claire's, and the medicated ear-wash they give you. I guess my ears were just sensitive or something; I am careful about the types of metal on my earrings, too.
      But! I love being able to wear pretty earrings and I feel like it dresses up an outfit nicely without having to pick the *perfect* necklace or other accessories. And I haven't regretted the holes :)

  2. I love how the nail polish is globbing off the brush. And I'm SAD I missed your message about skyping!!! *WAH* (in my defense I fell asleep on the couch all afternoon on account of staying up until 1:00 with dad watching, "Intersteller". WORST. MOVIE. EVER.)
    Actually, my biggest beauty secrets are vaseline and baby powder. :) Vaseline is the best way to fix I-Slept-Funny-On-My-Eyebrow and to clear up dry skin. Oh. And baby powder works for oily skin, dry shampoo, razor burns, and I even use it when I run out of powdered foundation. ;)

    1. I need to invest in baby powder! Honestly, I miss you every time I get up in the morning with semi-greasy hair and don't want to take a shower: "Dang nabbit, if I still lived with Bethany, I could just borrow her baby powder and sleep in an extra half hour....."

    2. *raises an off-topic hand* Agreed on Interstellar. After hearing all the rave reviews about it, I just sat there when it finished - "Whut."

    3. NOOOOO. What is the matter with you people?! :D I disagree with EVERYTHING that Interstellar promotes, but the story is powerful, the cinematography is gorgeous, and it's ridiculously fascinating (with a really stupid loophole at the end that I'm willing to excuse).

  3. Hahaha! My hair actually lies nice and smooth in the humid weather. In the winter, when it's all dry and static-y, is when my hair doesn't behave.
    Also, something tells me you accessorize with non-matching hairbands because you put them on your wrist and then forget them, right? I do the same thing. Only, I use boring hairband colors like gray, black, or brown, so they'll go with anything :D

    1. Every. Single. Time. I frequently remember that I need to remember to take off my yellow hair bands, and then I forget about it until I'm at a formal function AND THEY'RE STILL THERE. *sigh*

  4. For a second I thought these would be legit beauty tips and I was kind of "eh"... On reading it though, I'm so glad I did, because it cracked me up! This whole post is so me, it's hilarious. I've never got the whole lipstick thing, I subconsciously want to lick it off every time... Mascara I never learnt, so I'm oblivious there. I have a cover-up makeup stick to blot out the serious marks on my face after I've eaten too much white chocolate. Earrings are a good fashion piece if you have a pair of nice simple ones to wear all the time (also, don't be afraid of getting them pierced. It's pretty painless, think of just a pinch from an annoying friend). Frizzy hair works great if you put it in a loose plait/braid. It looks like a hippie kind of cool, if you like that sort of thing. That's all I've got. XD

    1. You like white chocolate?! Hello, my new best friend.

    2. I request the highest of fives.

  5. Yep to the lipstick! :)
    Also I wanted to share my solitary beauty trick, which is dry is a wonder. My hair becomes limp and flat approximately 22 hours after washing; but a poof of dry shampoo (the drug stores all sell it now, in spray canisters) it becomes revived and has even more body than before! This miracle allows me to go days without washing my hair, where before I had to do it every day.


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