In case you decided not to watch the video, here's why: "Come home to a hunk." "If you were really a feminist, you’d support housewives! You’d see them as the heroes and women who work as just wasting their time!" "You’re making a mistake. You’d be much happier at home with a husband and children." "You’re miserable! Imagine how much happier you’d be with kids around you tonight — coming home to, 'Mommy! Mommy!'"
That's one reason.
Another reason this upset me: Mr. Hannity laughed and laughed and neglected to address Ms. Holder's requests for reasonable intervention. Do gentlemanliness and professionalism not apply to feminists?
The real reason this upset me: Many of the conservative-leaning articles and top comments I read about this exchange painted Ms. Holder as just another stupid feminist blown away by the idea that women wanted to stay home and/or chose to earn less in order to care for their families. They implied that her biggest objections -- "This is disgusting," "Your comments are absolutely deplorable" -- referenced Mr. McInnes' claim that the wage gap came from women choosing to take time off for their families instead of staying later at the office.
The reality? Watch the video. Ms. Holder exclaims, "Your comments are absolutely deplorable" right after Mr. McInnes calls women "less ambitious" because they would choose to watch their daughter's piano recital than work on a project. "Having a choice does not mean you are less ambitious," Ms. Holder objects.
Never once did Ms. Holder say women should not stay home or that they are less ambitious for doing so. In fact, she insisted that women should be allowed to have a choice, and seemingly defended the right for a woman to be ambitious even if she puts family before work.
I am appalled that Mr. McInnes got away with calling Ms. Holder miserable and unhappy for her choices to advance her career and not marry. I am appalled that Mr. Hannity laughed at her uncomfortable situation. I am embarrassed that all the conservatives on the internet view her as a stupid woman, when in fact, she respectfully and firmly counteracted misinformation and a personal attack. If I ever get invited to give my opinion and then be told to go home to a hunk where I'd be happier, I hope I respond with as much poise and professionalism...minus the shocked Jesus at the end.
I would not call myself a feminist, but as a single working girl earning her college degree, I am mortified and confused at how rudely and illogically these two men harangued a female colleague. Now I understand why the feminist movement still wants to continue. I did not realize how public and accepted humiliating a woman for her career choices could be.
Were there women as part of the camera crew? Were they laughing? Do no conservative women work and choose not to marry? Is this merely a conservative vs. liberal thing, an anti-feminist vs. a feminist debate? A Sarah Palin can get away with working outside the home but a liberal feminist must stay home with the kids? Was Mr. McIness trying to be funny? I agree with Ms. Holder -- it wasn't funny.
After growing up with a patriarchal influence in what I read and believed, I know firsthand the danger of forcing women into a box and telling them to be happy. I was not happy in the stay-at-home daughter model, actually. I disliked all the homemaking things that allegedly fulfilled me. Even when I tried, tried, tried to find fulfillment in "women's work" and a "woman's place," I couldn't.
Would I love to marry and raise children? You bet! I would love that! Do I currently love my college studies, my single life, and my office job? Yes, I do! I feel fulfilled now, working and living independently.
You know why? My identity and my fulfillment reside in Christ alone, period. My womanhood finds its completion as an image-bearer. I am no more incomplete without marriage and motherhood than a man is incomplete without marriage and fatherhood.
What do we tell those women who dedicated their lives to singleness in order to serve the Lord? Go home to a hunk? You're just pretending to like this life? You're just wasting your time?
What do we say to all the women who want to marry and bear children but have been blessed with a longer season of singleness? Too bad for you?
What do we tell the women writers, artists, theologians, and thinkers? So sorry you enjoyed writing your book and giving that speech. Go home to your real purpose. You didn't really like your scholarly work, anyway.
As deplorable as dissing marriage and motherhood is, encouraging and/or guilting women into identifying her womanhood solely in the context of husband and home is a soul-crushing spiritual disaster. Wife, mother, working woman -- if your primary identity as a woman resides in anything besides Christ, you've got everything wrong.
You know why the feminist movement started? Because housewives realized that marriage and motherhood cannot fulfill a woman -- just like many women today realize that careers and paychecks cannot fulfill a woman. I believe the early feminists' claimthat women felt repressed, unhappy, and unfulfilled. No amount of shaming or shutting up can shake that feeling of unfulfillment.
I don't deny that women are happy at home or that many women would say that they're happier at home than in the work force. I agree wholeheartedly that women are (usually) more nurturing and relational, interested in helping vocations such as nursing, teaching, and mothering. I personally love counseling and loving people. I want to pour into any future children and homeschool them too. I am no flaming feminist stereotype who hates the home. (I even enjoy folding laundry and washing dishes occasionally.)
Do we see the issue here? Women will feel repressed when the overarching culture shames them into shutting up and staying home. Women will feel repressed when the overarching culture shames them into shutting up and working that 9-to-5. Bottom line: women will feel repressed and unfulfilled when they're told their identity lies solely in something it does not and ought not.
For this reason, I support Ms. Holder's and all feminists' insistence that women should choose how to express her image-bearing womanhood in a manner to which God calls her. I am sorry, conservatives. If that is laughable, stupid, and childish to you, I can only console myself with this laughable, stupid, wonderful life I choose to live to the glory of God.
I really want to hear your thoughts on this, dear readers!
I am bewildered how this segment can come across as anything