I'm Bad at Gift Shopping8:00 AM
My love language is not gifts. I like stuff. of course, especially stuff I can consume and use -- PopTarts, dresses, jewelry, goldfish, vanilla Coke.
Unfortunately for everyone who wants to bless me, I dislike chocolate. We have a tentative, off-and-on, love/hate relationship. I've got to be in the right mood, and it's got to be the right kind of chocolate. My roommate discovered my stronger passion for white chocolate, which chocolate lovers passive-aggressively point out is not chocolate.
Fine. Not chocolate, period. But Sour Patch Kids. I can do that.
Because I'm an extremely picky gift-receiver, I'm a crippled gift-giver. Will they use this? Will they like it? Will it get anything beyond the thought that counts? As I creep through the jumbled up Walmart aisles, I can see them pasting a fake smile onto their face.
I hate fake smiles more than chocolate.
You can feel the palpable terror in my soul, then, when my music fraternity announced "Secret Smothering." I, the smotherer, got a senior (the smotheree?) who then received all of my love via gifts.
I hate gift giving more than fake smiles and chocolate combined. I cannot handle it. Not even her detailed list of likes and dislikes assuaged my fears. In fact, they heightened them. I can't find bows! Will she accept lace and flowers?!
Heaven help my doomed soul.
Once I got over my embarrassment of shopping at Walmart on a budget, I slowly warmed up to the gift giving. Huh, that's a cute scarf. Ooo, I can buy her that. Oh my goodness gracious it's the cutest planner on earth. (I'm pretty sure I stopped at every planner I saw and just fangirled...until I saw the price tags.)
I amassed all the goodies. Then the fun part began -- distributing them secretly. It was a harrowing experience. I contacted an English professor to usher her into his office to receive her planner. I pretended to be someone else in order to give her a gift card to Jilly Beans. I raced her to the music building to hand off the scarf to our voice teacher before our recital began. She entered the concert hall right as I exited. It was a beautiful moment. The adrenaline ruined my vocal performance, but whatevs. Priorities. And she loved every single thing I gave her.
Did I forget to mention? My smotheree was allergic to chocolate. We were kindred spirits to begin with. No wonder the gift shopping wasn't too terrible.
How do you feel about gifts? What are your shopping tips?