Closed Doors

12:54 PM

Sometimes a door seems open -- wide open, enticingly open. You peek your head inside, look around, inspect the grounds, and realize, "Wow, this place is amazing!"

Then the door starts to close. You hurry back out just to make sure you don't end up in a bad place. And as you exit, the door shuts. Firmly. You knock on it, rattle the doorknob, laugh at how complicated life is (to getting your own way). You search a little ways around the door to see if there's a secret entrance or a key or something crucial you missed in your shock of the door shutting in your face.

After you become sure it's closed, you begin asking around if anybody has the key -- if anybody knows how to go in another way -- if anybody knows anything about that door at all. People shake their heads, share their lectures. They tell you to wait or back away completely from that door. The wisest suggest you try the only door that's open and see if that door eventually leads to another entrance into the world of which you so badly want to be a part.

The longer the door stays shut, the larger your desperation grows, the hotter your temper becomes, the more your impatience skyrockets.

You start pounding on the door. You start demanding entrance to anybody and nobody in particular. You start crying, angry tears, brokenhearted tears, confused tears. You begin more desperately begging the people around you to support you in your cause of knocking down this door. Instead, they say, sorry, they're not on your futile side -- just wait and pray to God to open the door, just leave it alone. Meanwhile locks and ropes and chains keep fastening the door shut further the long your pound and howl and scream at how unfair life is.

The door does not respond to reason. It does not respond to tears. It does not respond to the noted fact that you usually get everything how you want it. It is there, reality, unshakable reality. It is neither supportive or unsupportive -- it is merely there for you to deal with.

There is only one way to deal with a door that does not open. Only one thing to do.

Walk away. Walk away from the closed door. Walk away from it, friend, before you destroy yourself and the thing you want so badly. You've lost. And the only hope of peace, love, and joy rests in you leaving your almost-happiness behind.

Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living.
/// jim elliot ///

This gift for this day.
The life of faith is lived one day at a time,
and it has to be lived -- 
not always looked forward to
as though the "real" living were around the next corner.
It is today for which we are responsible.
God still owns tomorrow.


This is the call. ... 
We accept and thank God for what is given,
not allowing the not-given to spoil it.
/// elisabeth elliot, Let Me Be a Woman ///

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4 impressions

  1. Bailey, dear, have I told you lately how much I love you?

  2. You quoted both Jim Elliot and Elisabeth Elliot in this post, so you've probably already read this book, but have you heard of Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot? My mom gave it to me to read several years ago, and I enjoyed it so much I read it twice in a row. Though I haven't read it in a while, the ideas are still in my mind, guiding me in a way. If you haven't read it, you should; I found it very encouraging. All the best in everything you are going through, Bailey!

  3. This is great. I'm going through a rather confusing time right now: in the situation I'm in, I can't tell if the door is closed or not. If I knew it was closed, I would work on letting it go. But what if the door is still open? Then I don't want to let it go. If the door is still open, than I want to keep praying and hoping! Do you have any advice on that?

    Haha, I feel like I'm talking in riddles :) Hopefully you sort of know what I mean.


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