It's About Time2:03 AM
Hey, people. I'm dating.
I don't want to tell you this. Putting things out on the internet makes them seem so permanent. (Ironic, considering I can erase everything far simpler online than blacking out my journal.) I wrestled with telling you all this. I know I don't have to. And at the same time. . .I do. I do need to tell you. I need to come to grips that God's writing this part of my story, that He determines the happily-ever-afters, that I can't hide forever from the possibility that I may have to bang out a not-so-happy post telling you the opposite of what this is.
And I need to tell you, because this whole dating thing is changing me. I can't pretend that it's not important to me or that I don't think about my boy all the time or that the majority of lessons taught me somehow go back to love and relationships and submitting dreams to Jesus' authority and figuring out how to be obsessed with God while being head over heels in love with my boy.
And I need to tell you, because God is already using our story to challenge and encourage people, no matter how hard I try to keep it just between me and my boy. Maybe something He teaches me will change someone's life -- or at least give them encouragement to love again.
Because our story is about the most patient, loving, mischievous boy who fell in love with Jesus while falling in love with one of His disciples. It's about a girl who fears love learning how to let this boy love her. It's about two imperfect people who beat the odds of staying together because they learned that God is bigger than their differences and their weaknesses.
And as my boy told me one Saturday night, "Whatever happens to us, I'm glad we were together -- because it's causing my faith to grow." I'm still learning that -- learning that Jesus, not staying together forever, is the ultimate goal; learning that His love eclipses my boy's (which is saying a lot); learning to fall in love with Jesus, to trust Him with a most fragile and precious thing.
It's scary. It's exciting. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yet it's not my whole life, for I define myself in Christ. He's my life. That's why I'm telling you -- because whatever happens in the whole dating shindig, I want you to know that Jesus is good. Beyond good. And His love is enough.