It's About Time

2:03 AM

Hey, people. I'm dating.

I don't want to tell you this. Putting things out on the internet makes them seem so permanent. (Ironic, considering I can erase everything far simpler online than blacking out my journal.) I wrestled with telling you all this. I know I don't have to. And at the same time. . .I do. I do need to tell you. I need to come to grips that God's writing this part of my story, that He determines the happily-ever-afters, that I can't hide forever from the possibility that I may have to bang out a not-so-happy post telling you the opposite of what this is. 

And I need to tell you, because this whole dating thing is changing me. I can't pretend that it's not important to me or that I don't think about my boy all the time or that the majority of lessons taught me somehow go back to love and relationships and submitting dreams to Jesus' authority and figuring out how to be obsessed with God while being head over heels in love with my boy.

And I need to tell you, because God is already using our story to challenge and encourage people, no matter how hard I try to keep it just between me and my boy. Maybe something He teaches me will change someone's life -- or at least give them encouragement to love again.

Because our story is about the most patient, loving, mischievous boy who fell in love with Jesus while falling in love with one of His disciples. It's about a girl who fears love learning how to let this boy love her. It's about two imperfect people who beat the odds of staying together because they learned that God is bigger than their differences and their weaknesses.

And as my boy told me one Saturday night, "Whatever happens to us, I'm glad we were together -- because it's causing my faith to grow." I'm still learning that -- learning that Jesus, not staying together forever, is the ultimate goal; learning that His love eclipses my boy's (which is saying a lot); learning to fall in love with Jesus, to trust Him with a most fragile and precious thing.

It's scary. It's exciting. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yet it's not my whole life, for I define myself in Christ. He's my life. That's why I'm telling you -- because whatever happens in the whole dating shindig, I want you to know that Jesus is good. Beyond good. And His love is enough.

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12 impressions

  1. All praise be to the Lord! I'm so happy for you, Bailey dear. God heard and answered our prayers for you and The Boy, that he might come to know the Lord as Savior and put his trust in Christ. I pray that whatever the outcome of this relationship, that the two of you will grow in your love and trust of your Ultimate Lover, Jesus Christ. And can I request one ennsy-weensy-tiny-little picture of you two!?! ;)

  2. Aw! :) I knew your day would come sometime or another... <3

  3. i had almost forgotten you hadn't "revealed" this on the bloggity-blog yet! is it crazy that i'm still insanely excited about this?!?! hahaha ohhhh the life of a friend. ;)


    now, for serious commentary, remember what i told you when you texted me about your doubts/struggles surrounding that (REMEMBER BAILES?!?) because that's as intelligent of a response you're going to get right about now. ;)

  4. Thank you for sharing. I can see why it would be scary to post something like this, but I'm glad you did. For those of us who have been around for a long time, it's special to see how your life is unfolding. Since I have witnessed much of your growth through the different expressions of thought on your blog, it is meaningful to me to see where God has you at this point in your life, and to see how this connects to all that He has taught you. I'm very happy for you, and will continue praying both you and The Boy. ;)

  5. I'm so happy for you. I wish you both the best. :)


    This exact same thing is currently occurring in my life and sometimes I want to scream with an overabundance of joy. Next moment I want to cry out in fear. But overall, Jesus is good and I am learning to much.

    And the man who loves me makes my upside down world go round.

    Blessings to you!

  7. Oh, it's about time. ;) I agree with Savannah -- we need a picture!

  8. Yes, I was going to say. I'd love to see a picture of you two :-)

  9. Ah - God moves in the right ways, doesn't he? i'm sure your relationship will magnify Christ. xo

  10. I know this is an old post, but I just had to say that this is just. beautiful.

    It's so incredible how God uses the things that make us happy, as well as things that hurt, to draw us-and others!-closer to Him!

    (I think Blogger ate my other comment, but if not...oh well.)

    1. Wow, I forgot this post existed! It was good for me to go back and read all this excitement and expectation, especially since -- surprise, surprise -- God's been so faithful in my relationship.

      Silly Blogger, eating your comment. :P


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