Wanted: Eligible Young Ladies Only

2:00 AM

She was articulate, Biblically versed, a cultural warrioress, womanly woman and culinary artist to boot. She dressed beautifully and modestly. She could debunk any atheist who trotted along as well as wring a chicken’s neck. She loved books and children alike. She submitted to her father, exuded a gentle and quiet spirit, and ended up married to a godly young man who had waited a long time to meet this godly young woman.

No wonder.

I shut down the internet and put my head in my hands. Perhaps it was the time I set the stovetop on fire after spaghetti night, the lopsided dishrags or the chronically messy desk. Maybe it was the way I stumbled all over my words, laughed boisterously and jumped around to my sisters’ utter embarrassment. Surely it had to do with the fact that I could win the Forgetful Laundress Award. I don’t know. But I knew for a very long time that I would never graduate homemaker-in-training satisfactorily—with the MRS degree. I would be the failure woman who, if she ever did get married despite her college degree and dislike of knitting, would send out for pizza when the babies screamed, might possibly waste too much time on Facebook and would be too bored to read her Bible one morning.

I just wasn’t godly enough.

Feeling the pressure? Relax a little at Raising Homemakers today.

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8 impressions

  1. Hi, Bailey! Followed you here from Raising Homemakers. You have such a gift!! I'm much older than you (41) but your wisdom far surpasses mine, my dear. I wasn't raised to be a homemaker. My mom tried to her best to instill in me and my brother the basics (and dutifully took us to church every Sunday) while holding down a full time job and keeping up with my dad (who never went to church with us). So I wasn't raised in the world of homeschooling and homemaking and am only discovering this line of thought now, as a "new" mom with a 5 year old son and a 3 year old daughter. Already I feel that I'm failing at teaching her the "right" things, the "right" attitudes about marriage and homemaking and family and what being a woman of God means. So I'm quite thankful to have found your blog (and the Raising Homemakers blog). Your posts truly resonate with me and always point me to Him. So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you for sharing your gift with words with the rest of us. I look forward eagerly to your next blog post. May the Lord bless you richly today, my new friend! :)

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  2. Bailey - I've enjoyed following your blog now and then as part of my research on evangelical Christians (I'm working on a PhD and am not a Christian). I just wanted to throw you some encouragement, you're a whip smart girl and a very good writer! You're also awfully hard on yourself (which is probably just a sign of an active and inquiring mind) -- so just remember, chin up!

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  3. {I read your full post over there but wanted to comment here.}

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. :)

    Especially for this: If a man cannot love us for who we are—warts and all—and pursue God with us—pitfalls and everything—then the fault lies in the fact that it was not meant to be. And this: I know that imperfection does not disqualify a girl from marriage and that it’s not sin to marry without learning how to imitate Olive Garden or Design on a Dime.

    I often feel like I'm not good enough- like the right guy won't come into my life until I'm closer to God or until I can cook. Good grief. :)

    ~Kristin

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  4. thanks so much bailey. the article was a real blessing to me. I appreciate your well-articulated honesty that rang a bell in my own heart!

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  5. Bravo Bailey! Once again you have perfectly articulated the feeling of so many girls in similar life situations (including me) You have an incredible gift for it!

    I was wondering...What are your thoughts on the relationship between christian teenage girls and their mothers. Several sweet and Godly girls I know, who are any where from 14 to 18, seem to have struggles with the way their mothers run the household. (Again, including me)
    Not that everything our mothers do is wrong, it's just that we are all maturing and realizing just how many imperfections our mothers have. We all love our mothers, but for me personally, I keep seeing things that my mother does, taking mental note of them, and thinking "I will not do that in my future household." I know I am picking at my mothers faults, and behind that is a load of guilt. All that to say I would love it if you wrote a post, stating your feelings and opinions on this subject, like you do so well on any subject. If you don't, I will understand.

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  6. WG -- I'm glad this was a blessing! I love hearing from moms who have a heart to train their daughters. Just know that feeling failure isn't the same thing as failing -- a girl can tell when her mother is truly seeking to reach her heart and she will respond to that more than any outward failure or success. Hugs to you!

    ZG -- I hope I don't skew your research into thinking all evangelical Christians are as random as I am! ;o) But thank you. The joy of the Lord keeps my chin up -- now that I know I can be imperfect.

    Ah, Kristin. I know! When did we equate cooking skills with godliness? Oy vey. I think we like to invent problems for ourselves. :P

    Anonymous Uno -- Praise the Lord!

    Anonymous Dos -- That is a really great and interesting question. I have a naturally critical spirit, so this feeling isn't foreign to me. I think I will write on it. Thanks for the suggestion!

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  7. Read your article, and I LOVED it!!:) It was such a blessing:) KEEP IT UP!!!

    Rebecca

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  8. Hi Bailey,

    I also followed the link from Raising Homemakers to here. This is a beautiful article and it really touched my heart. Even though from what I can see, our backgrounds could scarcely be more different (I am from a non-Christian, divorced home, and came to faith at age 21), I have had the same thoughts. I remember crying myself to sleep thinking that no Christian man would ever want such a flawed woman, a child of divorce, someone who barely knows how to cook. Then God showed me that being “godly” is so much more than decorating a cake or having an immaculate home. I looked at godly women in the Bible like Abigail, Deborah, and Ruth, who were hardly sitting at home knitting all day. It’s good to cultivate these kinds of skills, no matter what the future holds, but even if a woman is the Christian Martha Stewart, that doesn’t guarantee a husband. Funny thing is that my best “wifely” skill is baking, and I ended up marrying a man who doesn’t like sweets. We are newlyweds living temporarily in a tiny apartment that is so packed with stuff that I doubt even Martha herself (Stewart or the biblical one) could tame this place… but we are happy anyway! If God have a husband for you, he will be someone who will appreciate you for who you are rather than for the resume of homemaking skills you bring into a marriage.

    Sorry this ended up being pretty long. Grace and peace to you in your journey. :-)

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