Pick Your Romance

3:48 AM

If you're ever anxious to meet me, watch Tangled. I've been told Rapunzel and I are eerily similar -- minus the hair.
Happy Valentine's Day! I'm not old enough to bemoan my single state, so I spend this day of chocolates, cards and cupids staring down cultural icons of love. I compiled a list of how a romance possibly could be begin, a la Hollywood, what are the trends in romantic stories, etc., etc. I'd like to know -- how would you pick your romance?

1. Prince Stalking? I noticed a fascinatingly odd occurrence in Disney princess movies after wasting an afternoon on such (admittedly fun) frivolity. The innocent heroine wanders alone, oblivious to her beauty and grace, as the bug-eyed prince runs to snatch her from solitude. They dance together, with little to no apology on his part for seizing her hand and frightening her half to death. In that split moment of meeting up with a handsome stranger who appeared out of nowhere and whose first introduction was to put his hand around her Disney-thin waist, she falls helplessly in love. Perhaps I'm too cynical, but my gut reaction to a Prince Stalking would not be coos and blushes. And no, "We met in our dreams" is not at all a rational answer, sir. Unhand me at once.

2. Love (and Girls) Are Getting More Demanding. Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty waited demurely for her prince to come. All she required was that he be handsome, royal and willing to kiss her upon introduction -- posthumously, if need be. Lately, relationships have become more complicated. Jasmine, Mulan, Belle and Tiana will not settle for the first man who comes striding (or hopping) along. The whole of the story involves working through fights, misunderstandings and offences on both sides. Apparently, modern girls like their princes with a bit of failure and their princesses with a bit of attitude.

3. But Perhaps It Isn't. It amazes me how alluring thieves are to princesses.

4. Arguing Is the Food of Love. If I could offer Jane Austen newbies a bit of advice, it would be the opposite of Emma Woodhouse's: "Men like women who argue." At any time you are confused about who will marry who in the end, just count up how many arguments the heroine has had with other male characters, tally the results and see who she hates most. That's the man she'll marry. The moral of Pride & Prejudice and Emma is that if you yell enough at a man, he'll fall hopelessly in love with you.

5. Marriage Is Completely Unromantic. I wonder who first invented the rule that the ending of the romantic tale started at the wedding. I have read a couple "romances" that attempted to start at the wedding, but there's a reason Portrait of a Lady never became a Disney movie.

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20 impressions

  1. I like the last one. It's all about "falling" in love, but then it doesn't say anything about REAL between a man and a woman. The real love starts when things get hard.

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  2. oh Bailey! this is so funny and so true! if only romance were as easy as Disney says it is...

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  3. I think that it is time that I become the modern day Robin Hood. You are right, women seem to love the thieves where as quiet men like Mr. Collins must make demands before he can get married.

    Don't all of the Disney stories of princesses end up with a marriage though? Whether the groom was a thief or a prince, they usually end with the wedding or at least the wedding bells. Maybe I'm just getting confused by the Disney Robin Hood.

    In any case, ¡Feliz el día de San Valentín!

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  4. You. Used. A. Tangled. Picture.

    Now I remember why you're my blogging hero.

    Also, number one would be my ultimate frustration with the majority of Disney Princesses aside from Belle and Rapunzel. :\

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  5. *falls off chair*

    Once you find the correct road back home from babysitting - I'll give you a good lecture for making your poor sickly sister swallow a kleenex from laughter.

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  6. Love your thoughts. These are really good. :)

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  7. Happy Valentine's day to you, Bailey! I'm in the same category as you: not old enough to be concerned that I am single. ;-) Valentine's Day has always been a family holiday for my family and me. It just happened that way. We all make valentines and exchange them with each other. It's sweet, fun, and places the focus on love in general, not just romantic love. I think it's really pleasant that way.

    Yay! I love Tangled. =) I think I'd have a crush on Flynn, except it's sort of impractical to have a crush on a non-existant, animated man. Even more impractical than having a crush on a movie star, which I have a policy against. (Actually, I guess I have a policy against crushes in general.) So, Flynn is out of the picture.

    *heartsick sigh* ;-)

    The type of romance I keep seeing pop up in movies is your fourth option: "Arguing is the Food of Love". It's so unrealistic. =P I had never thought about "Prince Stalking" before.

    "And no, "We met in our dreams" is not at all a rational answer, sir. Unhand me at once."

    Ha ha!!

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  8. Most amusing! And quite correct. Especially #1! Grabby Princes... ugh. 'Twould never do in real life.

    Although, being a devoted Jane Austen fan, I must point out that Emma (Or at least, Romola Garai) said "Men DON'T like girls who argue." Not the reverse.

    But I think she was wrong. At least according to your tally-up-the-arguments evidence, which strongly rings true. Lol!

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  9. Jake, I think Robin Hood is one of my favorite Disney movies. All love stories end at or near the wedding. But that's where they stop. Because marriage is boring romantic material, apparently.

    And you are totally my heroine, Emily! Belle and Rapunzel are my favorites too.

    Bethany, I thought I told you to stop ingesting Kleenex.....

    Julia #1: LOL! I personally have a crush on Pascal.

    Julia #2: Right you are! Which is why I said the opposite of Emma Woodhouse's advice is true. In other news: JANE AUSTEN FANS UNITE!

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  10. Being a Jane Austen fan, I heartily unite.

    The stalking princes really creep me out, actually the utterly adorable and awesome Flynn not being in this category). If that happened in real life, wouldn't we see a little more pepper spray?

    One of my favorite posts yet. :)

    *unzips mature young lady suit in preparation for the following statement*

    And I just gotta say ... Flynn is so cute....

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  11. Um ... yeah ... must admit to being another one whose inner teenager has a crush on Flynn Rider. He ties with Aladdin for the most awesome Disney prince.

    Hmm, pick my flavor ... I think I'll go with #4, the arguing one. I don't really know why, except I feel adventurous (but not as adventurous as dealing with a stalking prince). :-)

    Happy Valentine's Day, Bailey!

    Love in Christ,
    Vicki

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  12. Now that I think about it, you even LOOK a tiny bit like Rapunzel, Bailey.

    *sigh* Why is marriage so unromantic? Do we have to wait till we're grown-ups before married life becomes interesting? I guess.
    <><

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  13. *feels fuzzy-headed* AH! I get it now. I was just a bit confoozled.

    YES! Jane Austen Fans UNITE! *links arms with fellow JA Fans*

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  14. I also wanted to note: wouldn't the evil person (99.99% step mother) figure out by now that true love's first kiss is a not a safe way to bind a spell? I mean, the prince always feels like kissing a dead princess.

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  15. WE'RE BEING OVERRUN BY THE FLYNN RYDER FAN CLUB! AAAAAHHHHH!

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  16. Bailey,

    I think what you meant to say is

    "I LOVE FLYNN RIDER TOO!!!"

    =D

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  17. I'm just trying to keep up the pretense of maturity here. :D

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  18. *giggles uncontrollably*

    What a strange, awesome bunch of girls we are. I mean, we're half forming a Jane Austen Fan Club and half forming a ... Flynn Rider Crush Club. This is utterly hilarious.

    Bethany, that is totally true ... you'd think the evil witches would learn by now that, if they have to leave a loophole, it should be something like "the spell will be broken if somebody comes along and spontaneously sings a full opera without missing a note." They'd be much safer.

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  19. I did a post along these lines so come and see.
    And see my giveaway. I think you should read and comment on my blog more. I shoudl on yours:0

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