A Tale of Too Many Decibels

7:30 AM

The last time I went to kindergarten I was exhausted and emotionally drained, barely getting out of bed on time and remembering to brush my teeth. I didn’t feel like dealing with fourteen hyper students who crawled all over me and bickered and didn’t listen to a thing I said. Every time the teacher left for a couple minutes, the decibel level zoomed. I was usually so calm and collected, never raising my voice even when I was most annoyed—it’s something I’ve worked on—but having all fourteen students up out of their seats and crowding around the pencil sharpener with perfectly sharpened pencils and without my permission—I was going to blow my top.

“I’m going to sharpen my pencil!” exclaimed the normally-tearful girl who I love with all my heart. She was so happy today.

But right then I snapped—nothing terribly explosive or angry, but I was blowing off a rolling cloud of frustration and bitterness. The smile drained off her face. “Never mind, I’m not going to sharpen my pencil,” she said, hesitantly cheerful and backing away to her seat.

She knew I was a safe haven from trouble—I was the shoulder she cried on and the arms that encircled her when she was struggling to learn. To have her negatively react to my spewing the chaos and frustration of my life and messy circumstances—that pricked my conscience.

Learning grace today @ Raising Homemakers. Care to join?

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10 impressions

  1. Hello Bailey! Thank you for writing this article. It was a good reminder for me today.

    Just a quick question... is there a way that we could subscribe to your blog posts by email? If not, that's fine... just checking.

    P.S. I find your writing style interesting and entertaining. :)

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  2. Thank you for sharing! Your post was exactly what I needed to read after the first full week of summer break and adjusting to having two kiddos home all day. :-)

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  3. To be patient and peaceful in all circumstances is an incredibly difficult virtue to learn, especially for a perfectionist like me. When someone makes a mistake (as someone always does), when things are mildly chaotic, when I'm tired or emotional, when life isn't perfect -- it's so tempting to explode, or shut myself away and cry, or both.

    On the other hand, God doesn't call us to live in a perfect world. He calls us to live in the midst of trials and temptations, so that in our weakness we can cast ourselves upon Him for grace. Sometimes I want to scream, Why, God? Why is everything going wrong? But what kind of Christian would I be if my life went absolutely perfectly, with no bumps in the path, with butterflies and rainbows around every bend?

    Hmm.

    So in the midst of frustration, I am forced to rely completely on Christ to distraction-proof me. To teach me grace. To give me patience. Quite obviously, I need it all-- and I could never get it on my own. To quote Paul, "When I am weak, then I am strong."

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  4. The Thrifty Life for Me -- I added a "Follow by Email" thingamajig on the sidebar. Hopefully that's what you're looking for!

    Miss Madison -- Beautifully said. A perfect addendum to the post.

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  5. I know exactly how you feel. After babysitting lately, I cringe when I think of some of the ways I reacted to the kids I babysit. I love then but they can get well, you know. Anyways, I sympathize with you! Love you!

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  6. Hello!
    I have come across your blog and just wanted to comment and say how grateful I am to have found it.
    Your blog is so thought provoking and encouraging! I LOVE the way you write.

    I am looking forward to reading more of your beautiful posts!

    Blessings,
    Leah

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  7. Well, this didn't have a very happy endidng, now did it? But those sorts of stories are always good for thought. Thanks, Bailey.

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  8. Oh, but it doesn't stop there, Miss Lindsey. The rest of the post is at the link. :o)

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  9. Oooh, I see! I thought it was just unnatural for you to write such a short, undeveloped post. I figured you were trying a different writing style or something. ;)

    I'm glad I got to read the whole story- it's one that I can relate to!

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