Are You Worth It?

7:30 AM

Six years ago a group of middle school-aged males walked out the door of Pizza Hut. They shoved the door open, laughing and punching each other. One looked back before he let the door slam shut—in my face.

It is not an unforgiving heart that retains the wounds of that six-year-old memory. It’s just that my ego was crushed for all eternity. Actually, I’ve got a whole Book of Grudges about Young Men Who Do Not Hold the Door Open. The teens back at our old church who would let doors slam all over the place while mothers struggled with babies and bags. The guys at the library who wouldn’t even look back to see if there was a lady coming. The public schooled sampling who graciously let me prop the door open for them while my hands were full—and then complained under their breath that I was in the way. (Or perhaps not. That part gets more colorful as time progresses and recollection fades.)

Deep, deep down, I’ve got dignity. A dignity that’s easily crawled over and stamped on and shoved away. But it’s strong. In my private opinion, I’m worth something—at least I ought to be. Every girl, in her own way, expresses the same sense of worth—from the girl who feels insecure because no one will look her way to the drama queen who needs to meet a daily quota of attention to the little lady who keeps tabs on who and who does not hold the door open for her.

We need to be wanted. Loved. More than that—cherished. And as I tried to explain to a male friend, we do odd things to articulate that—like picking on someone to subtly remind them to be kind to us—or else.

And it’s a drive so strong that some girls sacrifice their worth in order to satisfy it. Good little Christian girls are warned not to dress like, act like or think like the girls of the world—the girls who bring a guy down, who are all available and flaunt that, whose chief goal is to snag a date for the weekend.

We’d never be like them. But that little cover-up—the thinking that we could never allow ourselves to fall so far—oftentimes brings us to the line. If we don’t admit that, we’ll stumble. A quiet but true fact: Good little Christian girls are sinful enough to share the same secret desires as the floozy down the road and smart enough not to mention the fact that they do.

We're peeling back facades over at Unplug Your Family today.

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10 impressions

  1. Lovely, pondering post. Love it!

    The little girl in the pic. is hilarious!

  2. Bailey, you sing it so true today! It never stops either...whether you are 6 or 60...I know I'm worth it, but I find my value in how my hubby responds to that need...even after 28 years of marriage, I bloom best when he treats me like a valuable commodity! LOVE this post!

  3. Allow me, mam. *holds the door open for you*
    Great post! Enjoyed reading it and you definitely described girls like that correctly.

    -Your newest follower,

  4. Of all your posts ... I have to say I think this is the best. Bravo!

  5. "The public schooled sampling who graciously let me prop the door open for them while my hands were full—and then complained under their breath that I was in the way."

    Not all teenagers who attend public schools act this way, and it sort of bugs me when people act like this is the case. :P Just because I'm not homeschooled doesn't automatically make me a rude punk.

  6. Sarah, with all due respect, I only meant to say that the ones who made me hold the door open were the local high schoolers in the school next to gas station in which the door was situated. Public schooled gentlemen have held the door open for me and homeschooled punks have let it slam in my face. It was a descriptive clause, not a loaded stereotype. Sorry for the offense. :)

    (I hate the stereotypes too.)

  7. Oh I know that picture!!...
    Actually I see that picture a lot...

  8. Bailey,
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your encouragement! I believe you were speaking right to me :)

    Lately, I've really been struggling with this very topic. I see several of my best friends literally surrounded by young men. Other guys stand at a distance and send admiring glances their way. And though (quite possibly) my imagination exaggerates this male attention, I find myself considering changing something-- anything-- about myself to gain just a sliver of that attention. And therein lies the problem.

    I sometimes find myself wondering, rather wistfully. If I dress just a little differently-- necklines a little lower, blouses a little tighter, makeup a little heavier-- would someone look at me like that? On the other hand, if I continue dressing and behaving as I do, will anyone notice?

    This post helped me to realize that "someone noticing" is not the point.

    I act the way I do to glorify God, and Him alone. Which means my thoughts, desires, and motives should glorify Him as well. If I try to dress more modestly than other girls solely to attract attention, am I glorifying God?

    I need to mold the way I act, behave, and dress for Him-- not him.

    Blessings, my sister!
    ~Miss Madison

  9. Hiya! I wanted to share my new club/website for Christian girls, It's not technically related to this post, but this seemed like the most related post I could find.


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