In Which I Learn a Lesson

8:05 PM

I was worried all week. Worried to the point where my worries cropped up in my dreams, leaving me a regular insomniac.

I knew not to. He had assured me He would discipline me if I ignored His word and His promises.

I was particularly perverse this week. I prayed myself to sleep and asked for help and He showed me the answer and I, the brilliant daughter I am, stared at it and cried out for Him to help me. (My God is a very patient God.)

He pointed out my path and I covered my face and said, "Show me the way!"

He gave me the strength and I fell at His feet and snivelled, "But I can't do it."

I am not a very patient person, but I am ever longsuffering toward my pet sins.

He wasn't. After I had ignored His loving reproof, His word, my upbringing, my way out, my path, He finally hit me over the head -- so to speak. The thing I had been worried over took a sickening turn for the worse: the dreaded Christmas play practice.

I had imagined the weather to be sunny and the room cheery. It was the worst weather we experienced this fall and the gloomiest of settings.

I had imagined everyone to show up on time and have everything ready to go. Half the participants were hunting.

I had imagined being calm and collected and cheerful. I wasn't. I wanted to cry. I felt bitter disappointment. I wanted to quit.

To make matters worse, people weren't very sympathetic. My youth group leader, after a lesson on trusting God (which I tuned out because I was in need of it), used my circumstance to illustrate the lesson -- never knowing he was giving the most hard-hitting sermon ever. I was so frustrated with the truth that I couldn't even pout. Then every time I (kinda, sorta) complained to my pastor about the ridiculous circumstances, he kept pointing out that it was for God's glory; God was in control. Yes?

I was -- ashamed.

I didn't get to talk long with the people I wanted to. Things didn't go my way at all. I left church depressed and wet and cold from the gray dampness.

He didn't say, "I told you so" -- even though now would have been the most opportune time, seeing that I had been studying James 4:14's take on man's plans. He let me sulk and point fingers, but even I had to admit, wryly, thankfully, that it was a very apt consequence for a very delicately wrought sin.

So that was my lesson -- if you pray for divine help, let it be known you will get it, either kicking or screaming or sitting quietly at the feet of Jesus. The bonus takeaway? My God is patient, loving and frighteningly effective -- and I love Him, even in time out.

Point taken.

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4 impressions

  1. Yup, that's how it goes. We're so wrapped in worry that we hardly even think clearly and use the excuse, "but..." and the whole time we worry over nothing because in the end it always turns out. Whether perfection as we imagined - okay - or terrible. It turns out.

    Example. Last night I was all upset over my computer - pathetic - yes, yes. I couuldn't believe I had another virus and I didn't want Dad to spend a whole week devoted to killing that virus.

    I know it's rather dumb - but I prayed about it. I did. And as you always tell me in our little conversations - you always cry over the little things.

    This morning - I sadly went on my computer and decided once again to run a scan - expecting all the time to see 1,000,000 threats on my computer popping up.

    Well, after an hour of scanning. There were 0 threats. That's what it said last time - and nothing changed since I ran my first scan.

    I sorrowfully tried the internet again to see if by some miracle Safe Eyes decided not to be virused.

    Let me tell ya. It worked fine. Nothing was wrong.

    I was dumb stricken - and kicking myself for wasting all last night (lovely sleep!) worrying over my computer.

    God knew what he was doing. Even if it was something as paltry as a computer virus.

    *hugs*

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  2. Bailey!
    I don't want you to get so stressed out and overwhelmed with the play...but I know you are. That's not good for you, and then it will take away from the fun. I know that when we have responsibilities, we tend to stress(you know me!). However, you can trust me ( I'm almost positive), that the play will be a success - even for some odd reason we forget some lines or enter the stage wrong once or trip... or what ever ( even though I think we will have so much good practice time, that this won't be the case.) But even if those things did happen, it won't take away from the play at all. People like to see silly mistakes (sounds cruel), but they do. Especially a little congregation like ours where everyone knows and loves each other dearly. Their confident in each other, where they are not going to critize our mistakes, but they will instead laugh with us.
    I know how you feel worried seeing how there were a lot of people missing last Sunday. But I do believe many more will show up at the next one, and probably everyone at the Saturday rehersal- and those are the main practices!
    Do not miscredit yourself in anyway! You are, and already have, done an amazing job. Just with you our script was good enough and very much appreciated. And there will be much more positive comments when the play is done... because it WILL be GREAT! I know it will and I know you will make it great (well God will, but he'll use you to help!)
    You have such mind blowing talents. I know I've said that before, but I like to remind you! If there's anything I can help you with in the play or at play practices be sure to let me know!!
    By the way, does a blue robe and white headcovering sound good for my costume?
    Hang in there. Have fun. Don't stress. Because God already knows how are play is going to turn out... so I guess we can't completely control it. I believe He will use it for His glory as well.
    I LOVE YOU! ~ Stacy

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  3. Aw, Stacy. Is your middle name "Encouragement"? For it should be.

    You brought up things I had totally forgotten...how everybody won't expect it to be perfect, how everybody will get a kick out of our flub ups, how even if it's not perfect, our church family will love us anyway. And it is for God's glory and it will be great...even if it doesn't go the way I expect to (which I am expecting).

    I love you so much and your costume sounds just perfect. (((hugs)))

    Floppeth -- your best comment ever. Seriously.

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  4. Bailey,

    You have some good post-ers on your blog! Bethany and Stacy- you guys were also a encouragement to me and I'm sure your words will also be an encouragement to anyone else who reads these comments, thanks :)

    And Bailey, it's too funny how we seem to go through very similar situations and learn very similar lessons in a very close time frame, isn't God crafty?

    ~Lindsey

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